We’re Not All Vixens

On The Whorizon Interviews Hunny Daniels

Blog Post Written By: MelRose MIchaels

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Hunny Daniels is a autistic disabled femme. They work as a professional submissive for hire, and run the fetish print shop SlugBabyWares.

On the Whorizon sat down with Hunny to talk about their experience as a professional submissive and autistic person in the industry.

Hunny Daniels: As a professional submissive, I essentially offer my services to people that either want more experience dominating people, people who want a very specific scene that maybe they don't have a play partner to fulfill. I view it as a bit of hands-on teaching, not everybody has the opportunity to meet somebody and just be like, “Okay, well, can we try this? Can we do this?” And some things, like I said, I think they take practice. So I offer myself as a person who is open to ideas, open to doing things.

I obviously have my boundaries that I keep. But especially for domination, it can be very scary for people to step into that role, because there's so many societal ideas that the things you want in that role are bad, mean, abusive. And so I think it's helpful to give people a frame of mind where it's like, I like this stuff. And if you want to try it out, I'm somebody who enjoys it. You do not have to worry that I'm faking, doing this for you, or that I'm going to call you the next day and be like, “You know, I actually was really uncomfortable with that,” because I'm very easily able to set boundaries. I don't put myself in situations where those boundaries are easily crossed. And I think it's fun. If you want to sub for somebody, there's so many opportunities, but if you're looking for more experience topping a person there's not as many people out there offering that service.

How does sex work lend itself to being a disabled person?

HD: It’s funny because I feel like the way it lends itself are also the ways that are difficult. Obviously, it lends itself to being disabled — I make my own schedule, I decide all that. And people love to say that in sex work, like, “Oh, so freeing, you're your own boss and all that.” But I don't think people really understand what being your own boss entails. That actually is a lot of work. If I don't work that day, if I don't feel up to it, there's nobody else making the money. Like that's it. And with a disability, that's very hard. Because there are obviously days I can't push through, I can't show up. And that can be really hard in this industry, because there's so much emphasis on like, “Just work harder, just show up. Just be doing it.” Well, there are so many of us that can't. Like hard stop — can’t…

What works for you is never going to work for somebody else. And what works for you is like 50% luck. And people making good money, they never want to admit that… People want to act like luck is based on their hard work. That is sort of like a dig at people like me. I am working my absolute hardest, but I'm not an able-bodied neurotypical person. What you view as work harder, set a schedule, do all this — like that is actually inaccessible to me. It's like somebody telling someone in a wheelchair, “Oh, there are only three steps.” Okay, like cool. I still can't walk up them. I definitely experienced that in in-person work, where people are seeing neurotypical able-bodied people, and they have an idea of how this is going to go. And that doesn't work for me. Online work did work for me for a while, but it sort of shifted into this thing where you have to be working 24 hours a day. It wasn't like that when I first started.

You went from digital to full service. Having autism, how do those social interactions change?

HD: So much of who I was on cam was actually me just being me. And I kind of just shift that into in-person work. And I really try to be authentic in interactions and the way I brand myself because I never want someone to meet me and be like, “You are a weird person [laughs].” So I kind of just try to let my freak flag fly. I'm very open about being autistic and being disabled because I want people to be comfortable around that when I show up with my cane. I have other providers that are like, "You bring your cane? To appointments?” I’m like, “Yeah, cause I need it to walk [laughs].” There was a long time I wouldn't use the cane because I was like, I don't want people to see me with this. As a femme, I don't want this to detract from my desirability. And I really just tried to work in the fact that this is who I am. This is who you're hiring. This is who you're booking… It also makes other people who are disabled, autistic, who maybe feel like I'm too weird to book a provider, I'm too nervous — I want them to know that we're not all, like, vixens.

Do you have any clients that are disabled?

HD: I have several clients that are disabled. Unfortunately, because of my own disabilities, there are certain people with disabilities that I can't see because they need somebody that can do more of the work, and that unfortunately is not me. And I never like telling them that it can't be me because people feel comfortable with the way I present myself. But I do have other disabled clients and it's very nice. One of my longest term clients who I frickin’ adore, there will be times where I'm pulling up on the bus to New York, and I'm like, “I am so sick, I feel like shit.” … And he's always like, “That's cool, that's fine.” I have health issues that are not 1-2 days, they're either lifelong, months long, weeks long. And sometimes they interfere with my booking. So it's nice to have other disabled clients to be like, “Hey, can we maybe do this another day? Can we maybe shift our expectations of what's going to happen today?” It's very nice to have them be supportive. Not everyone is supportive. I'm gonna be honest, it's not all shiny rainbows. Some people are not nice. But for the most part, it's pretty good.

Some parts of the above interview have been condensed or edited for clarity. To hear the full interview with Hunny Daniels, listen to On The Whorizon, Episode 9: Neurodiversity & Disability in SW.

Follow Hunny Daniels on Twitter @HunnyDaniels and Instagram @littlehunnypot and @slugbabywares. You can see their work at thehunnyjar.com.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in the blog post above are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of SexWorkCEO or MelRose Michaels. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.